|DisclaimerThis segment of the newsletter contains moments of satire that should not be taken seriously.|
I feel you and I are close enough, so I’ll just say it. This is the best week of the year for me.
Pumpkin Spice season has hit its full stride. We’re driving fast with nothing ahead but the horizon.
People, this is my Pamplona.
It’s my San Fermin, only it’s filled with 3 bulls named Cinnamon, Nutmeg, and Clove, and when combined as ‘one,’ they can take control of our minds!
Don’t get me wrong, I am at my best at the end of October. My beautiful wife, Krissy, allows me to convert part of our carport into a Pumpkin Spice warehouse, doing everything I can to hold on to ‘autumn in a cup.’
But there’s nothing like the real thing – Octobre et Novembre.
Marie Kondo talks about sparking joy, and since 2003, I’ve been living at a level of happiness I did not believe to be previously attainable. The PSL is an unadulterated joy. My gateway to an autumn paradise, and I’m all in.
Editor’s note: What follows may be disturbing to many readers.
Pumpkin Spice Season? In our house, it starts the night before the Starbucks’ release with the *spraying of the bedsheets and pillowcases (this quickly escalated to separate bedrooms, but every obsession has a price), home air fresheners, and, of course, the changing over of the laundry soap.
Before I forget, Thank You, 2022.Thank you for all the places you let me weave Pumpkin Spice into my life.
Oh, how my patients must love the fall season. If I’ve heard it once, I’ve heard it a thousand times.
“What is that smell?!?!”
Well, patients, YOU are welcome!
On a crisp fall morning, I make my way to the bathroom to brush my teeth, shower, and deodorize. Then, I head downstairs to where the fun is really just starting.
My beautiful wife, Krissy, the poor thing, is eating her maple-flavored Quaker Oats. Me? I’m lucky there’s no cover charge because this breakfast is a party and a half. Pancakes and syrup before I head to Starbucks for The Boss.
Krissy is covering her nose and mouth as I leave, but I can hear her say, “Honey, your patients are soooo lucky.” Gently, I close the door behind me and laugh. Only I know how right she is.
I grab some snacks from the carport, and it’s a glorious drive to Starbucks and the hospital. Ahhhh, Fall.
I can hardly keep it together until I get to each lunch, Pumpkin Spice Hummus and Bread; thank you very much. Some Pringles. Please let that soak in for a second. Yes, they make Pumpkin Spice Pringles.
I was missing one thing, one vital thing.
I was missing the ability to sit down for a quiet Sunday dinner in October with my loved ones and recount the weekend’s events over some canned meat (if only it was plant-based.) I could just never quite incorporate that Pumpkin Spice…Then along comes 2022, and BAM, thank you, Hormel, my life is complete.
Disclaimer: This portion of the newsletter is a work of satire. None of its contents should be misconstrued as accurate. Except for the Mrs., she is truly, beautiful.